On Monday I had an appointment, a very important appointment…one that has been needed for over 2 years…and one I’ve been on a waiting list for months. So, what I’m saying is, it was a big deal thing, with loads of anticipatory anxiety and all of the sweaty palms, rapid/irregular heartbeats that go along with that.
The appointment did not get off to a good start. At all. There was confusion over the start time, creating a situation by which the session was half over before even arriving. And of course, that then takes anticipatory anxiety levels to that of anticipatory anxiety, squared! Yay for abundance.
Even though this critical appointment was only 25 minutes long, due to the start time cluster fuck, it was still a relief to have landed in the place I know is so important.
Times up. Bye bye. Thank you so much. See you next time, at the right time. Out the door. Down the elevator. Out into the fresh air. Breathe. I do love brisk, chilly air blowing on me after anxiety overload. It’s so grounding and forces its presence, creating a restorative component….bringing me back down to where my feet are.
With those feet, I start to walk to the car. And as soon as I’m no more than ten steps out, I notice a rather large, shiny, black crow on the ground. Dead. Yep, dead…belly up, feet perched on nothing, dead. I have seen lots of dead birds before…but none like this. This one seemed so big, plump, sleek…it looked like such a healthy bird- coat so glossy…I even had the thought of maybe it’s a pregnant crow.
I stopped. Looked at it. Had many stories go through my head at once. Things like, “Oh, of course…I see a dead crow here. Thanks for the sign of bad things to come!” ,<worst case scenario example> or… “Oh, yep…it’s a mom bird…maybe she died from sadness about her kid birds.” <projection example> or… “Ok, fat bird, thank you for the warning!” <angsty, sarcastic example> The warning of what though?!?!??!? Leave me with that thought for an hour, and I could write a massive book about all things scary, catastrophic and end of the worldish. That’s me. It just is. And I know that.
One of my many fabulous and ineffective “coping skills” is to ignore something. Sweep that shit right under the rug. Make it go away. And as most of you know, that is never a successful strategy. But, I’m going to do it anyway. Forget the dead, black crow. Just leave it there. Let your thoughts die there with the crow. Move on. Done (I wish!).
That was Monday. So, for a few days I was slightly able to let it go. But come Thursday morning (today, right now), I strongly believed there was some strong, critical need for me to Google “the meaning of a dead, black crow”. Cuz why not. Just to confirm my glass half empty thoughts. I do adore confirming those thoughts.
Well. Let me say. I was shocked to find lots of information about dead crow, that was quite pleasing and not scary; things I never would have been true. Good things! Imagine that.
Here are some of the things I found:
I was astounded to find such words! Quite calming, actually. I texted my husband, saying how crazy I found this to be, and he replied, “It’s prophetic.” YESSSSSSSSS! THAT it is! I am choosing to go with his word….that this whole crow thing is predictive of new beginnings, truth, transformation, luck, and change. I love that so much!
Thank you Rich for creating a path of choosing the good. Looking toward the light.
Little Truth Tales 