I can not count the number of times I have said to 10 years worth of therapists, case managers, doctors…”This is the beginning of a relapse!” well before a drug has been pick up. As his mom, I always know. I can feel it like a light dusting of snow, gradually falling on my face; I feelContinue reading “Truth Tale #22: The Gut Wrenching Intuition of a Relapse”
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Truth Tale # 21: For Brandon- February 27th, 2002-November 4th, 2022
Truth be told, I did not wake up today knowing it was Fentanyl Prevention & Awareness Day. I did wake up knowing I had lunch plans with a dear friend who lost her son to fentanyl. When I learned that my lunch and this awareness day were on the same day, it felt the rushContinue reading “Truth Tale # 21: For Brandon- February 27th, 2002-November 4th, 2022”
Truth Tale #20: Can You Say FAILURE and Your Child’s Name in One Sentence?
I do not know the first time I heard the term Failure to Launch. I don’t know what I thought about it when I heard it. I think I was too frozen in fear, fear for my son’s survival, to care what it sounded like. I was just grateful to find something that best describedContinue reading “Truth Tale #20: Can You Say FAILURE and Your Child’s Name in One Sentence?”
Truth Tale #19: Two Things Can Be True At Once
Recovery is possible, and so is overdose and death. The paradox of the disease of addiction is real. There are miracles and tragedies; and as a mom of a son who struggles with substance use disorder, I sense I will always feel BOTH of these things- loving the witnessing of progress and happiness AND foreverContinue reading “Truth Tale #19: Two Things Can Be True At Once”
Truth Tale #18: Morning Reflection
Yesterday I got to spend the day with my son. A gift. This morning I reflect: Today he is here. He is healthy. He smiles. He laughs. He eats. He talks- deeply, meaningfully. He listens. He finds joy in the little things, like the mini donkey rolling in the dirt like a dog. Like theContinue reading “Truth Tale #18: Morning Reflection”
Truth Tale #17: Need New Battery!
Anticipatory anxiety is a wrecking ball! The days leading up to my visit with Aidan have been ridiculous….One of those weeks where each and every day, you think you have a plan, just a simple daily plan, and for some reason it gets turned upside down and all is repositioned. Uncertainty is the word thatContinue reading “Truth Tale #17: Need New Battery!”
Truth Tale #16: Happy Birthday, Max!
Happy Birthday, my Max! 25 years! I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. A day of awe, and a traumatic day, all in one. After a rough beginning- your birth, your recovery, my recovery, and finally figuring out a health issue…YOU were the sweetest, most angelic, delicious soul. You were theContinue reading “Truth Tale #16: Happy Birthday, Max!”
Truth Tale #15: 7 Years of a Progressive Disease
This came from Morning Pages this morning: 7 years. A progressive disease. Never better; always worse. The last 8 months in DC, to include a 24 hours gone missing scare, which looked like this- calling all of the local emergency rooms, the morgue, the police department to file a missing persons report, searching the backContinue reading “Truth Tale #15: 7 Years of a Progressive Disease”
Truth Tale #13: Women: The Life Savers, The Grounders, The Magic Makers
Every Sunday morning I am presented with proof that magic is real…or….that God exists…or that even in a scary, painful world, there are always moments of profound grounding to be had. It is with incredible women that this exists. I am in total awe over the importance of the connections we have, the depth ofContinue reading “Truth Tale #13: Women: The Life Savers, The Grounders, The Magic Makers”
Truth Tale #12: The Birthday Gift of Connection
Last week I was in the magical land of New Mexico for my birthday. The unending beauty, the pure silence, and the sunrises and sunsets, food, food, and food; the treats of multiple massages at various places…all was exactly what I needed. And I mean NEEDED. I had no expectations (except to eat as manyContinue reading “Truth Tale #12: The Birthday Gift of Connection”