I am currently feeling like my head is inside a cotton candy machine, spinning at excessive speed, trying to put pieces together, to be able to say, “The cold case murder of my grandfather is finally closed, after 18 years!”. Overwhelmed, honestly. But that’s when I have to write to get it out and onto paper….so here we go…Hope you can follow (good luck!).
I woke up Monday morning to the news of Savannah Guthrie’s mother- missing from her home in Tucson, Arizona. My reaction, which felt like my gut coming up and out my mouth was, “I fucking hate Arizona. My grandfather was murdered there, and Aidan almost died there.” Other thoughts…”What a lawless, wild west pile of dirt and cacti.” Something definitely hit a nerve deep inside me.
Throughout the morning, I see bits and pieces of the Guthrie tragedy. Each time, having a harsh reaction. My mom calls me and leaves a voice message saying, “Give me a call please……” So I do. She starts telling me that Papa’s (her father, my grandfather) birthday was Sunday, and that for some reason she wanted to call the FBI with her brother to see if there was anything to do to help solve the cold case of their father/my grandfather.
Immediately, I asked, “Wait, is this because of the Savannah Guthrie news?” She said she didn’t know what I was talking about. No idea who that even is. I ask her to continue….She tells me they tried calling the FBI on Sunday, but got nowhere, besides frustrated…something they are used to feeling after 18 years of my grandfather’s case going unsolved. She tells me that this morning (Monday) she called back and got through to someone who was a disgruntled bitch got off the call feeling defeated. Again.
Hearing this, and seeing the Guthrie reports on the news, I am consumed by a feeling/idea/push…and I say, “Listen. Do me a favor. Forward me emails from a anyone who was involved in Papa’s case, and let me see what I can do.”
My grandfather was murdered on September 2, 2008. He was 84 years old. The same age as Savannah’s mom. He was found beaten and strangled to death in his office in Phoenix, Arizona (I will be attempting to put a podcast episode in this post, that describes the entire case….which I heard yesterday…for the first time; I hear every detail).
I spend time on Monday creating lists, making poster board charts, learning how to use Chat GPT, etc…It’s a process..or a storm..or some kind of spiritually driven thing…that’s how it feels. I go to bed knowing that Tuesday morning I will be sending out a flurry of emails, in hopes of a single response. Remember, this case is 18 years cold.
Tuesday, February 3 is total blur, as I fired off the emails and inquiries at the crack of dawn…..6 of the 8 emails that went to Phoenix Police Dpt. bounded back. Not surprised. But then I make a call to the homicide department and I’m given the contact info for the sergeant in change of cold case homicides. I send him my email…and he responds! Even though it is 6:30am in Phoenix. From his response, to then getting a new detective to review the case, to reaching out to very random people and places I find on the internet, and gathering whatever else I could find….feeling much like a Nancy Drew mixed with an investigative journalist (I wish!).
Tuesday night I go to bed, but my phone rings and it’s our new detective! I am shocked…to get a response this quickly and from someone so thorough and helpful. Then I call my mom to0 tell her the new detective called, and while I’m on the phone with her, I get another call….from a guy who was a sergeant on the PPD for 30 years, had worked on this case for a bit, has military intelligence background, and is now a writer and hosts a true crime themed podcast. Seeing his name pop up on my phone, I actually scream, MOM!!!!!!! I HAVE TO GO!” and clicked over…and talked to the nicest, obviously an expert guy. Two calls, from very important people. My mind is so spun at this point, I almost feel like cotton candy is wrapping around my face, strands flying off my hair.
Wednesday, September 4, I get an email from a podcaster that I reached out to called The Deck. She tells me that she did a full episode about my grandfather’s cold case years ago, and included the link. I sat for 28 minutes, not believing what I was hearing- the entire story, start to finish, with graphic details…most of this I never knew about. I also see more Guthrie new info out of Tucson, and cry for that family. The fear and shock they feel right now is palpable.
Here is the episode from The Deck. Feel free to listen, but know there are graphic details discussed: https://thedeckpodcast.com/irving-shuman/
So here we are, Thursday, February 5th, and I have been on various calls with incredible people, so willing to help and telling offering me little nuggets of preciousness about my grandfather….like….our detective told me he had just gotten off the3 phone with the 2008 detective and told him this, “There are few cases that have stuck with me over the years…but this is one of them, and if you could solve this case, you would be my hero.” And. The retired sergeant said, “And an over-riding memory I have is that by all account’s your grandfather was one of the kindest person and a constant phrase I heard over and over was, “He’d give the shirt off his back to a stranger in need.”
Something the sergeant said to me, that surprised me was, “Your timing is actually good.” WHY!?!??! It’s been 18 years! And he tells me time provides more information, and that anyone who may have seen something or heard something or whatever, is in such a different place than they were 18 years ago- that maybe back them they would have never said a word, but now are willing. That hit me hard, because it rang true to me…18 years ago I could never have done this. And now I can. Enough time, distance, maturity, whatever it may be. I know that timing is everything- it’s how I ended up here- Savannah’s horrific situation triggering a past trauma, my grandfather’s birthday on the day Nancy Guthrie goes missing, my mom feeling the need to reach out to the FBI….and it being unsuccessful…the kismet list goes on.
I’ll end with this (there is too much to say, and I hate long posts)…I pray for the Guthrie family outcome to be one of joy. I pray for closure if this cold case gets solved for my mom and uncle. I am beyond grateful for all of these caring souls that are helping me with this. And. Because of course this happened yesterday…..My Facebook memory popped up from 12 years ago…THIS picture.
I love you Papa.
Little Truth Tales 